Summer is Pulling to a Close....

As a teacher, one's days are numbered for summer vacation. In between 6 sessions of training, curriculum meetings, Promethean Board Training, Mentor Training, and Camp Invention, we FINALLY squeezed in a last romp to South Carolina's Grand Strand this final week before having to return to teacher workdays next Wednesday. It has been a FABULOUS time. Our oldest is on a cruise with his mom's family, so it has been just the 3 of us. However, the 5 year old has been enough for the 2 of us. In just a few days we've done so much. And even though my parents' beach place is one we come to often, we rarely go beyond the circle of convenient places nearby. We've played Putt-Putt, went to the Ripley's Aquarium, spent time by the Barefoot Resort Pool with friends, went to restaurants we never venture (and they were good!) and all the time never minding to a schedule!! It's been wonderful! Here are just a few pics to enjoy!

Shift Happens....

Whos Funnier....Teachers or Cops?

WHO'S FUNNIER: TEACHERS OR COPS ?... I think it's a draw

For the teachers out there, former or present you will chuckle at these actual comments made on student report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, some of these are really funny!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

2. I would not allow this student to breed.

3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.

4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thingie to hold it all together.

7. This child has been working with glue too much.

8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.

9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.

11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.

Cops, (and yes, there is one of those in my household, so I am double laughing at this post)...These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country. Thank goodness, in spite of the perils of the job, they still have a sense of humor!

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'

15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.' (.....my husband swears he's used this one a time or two on a few drunks in holding and they just look at him like he knows what he's talking about!!)

14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'

13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'

12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'

11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'

10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'

9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'

8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not....Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'

7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poo.'

6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'

5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'

4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'

3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'

2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail..'

AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here. ( In Calif.)

New Preamble??

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavi or, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care without helping to buy into the program yourself first.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness... Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!
If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time common sense is allowed to flourish. Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not, who will?

Xan's a Graduate!

All grown up and ready for Kindergarten!! At this point she will be driving tomorrow and ready for the Senior Prom next week. Where did the time go?...I blinked.

Teachers' Top Ten for the Last Ten Days....

10. You are so tired, you now want to answer students' questions with "shut up".

9. Your friends call to ask how you've been and you immediately scream "Stop asking me all these questions."

8. Your garbage can is now your "IN BOX"

7. The next kid who asks you for a pencil is going to hear "Don't you ever have anything? Do you see Wal-Mart tattooed on my forehead?"

6. You fantasize about how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now!

5. Your recess jumps from 15 minutes to 45 minutes.

4. The only thing in your classroom to eat is chocolate with a soda chaser.

3. Math lesson consists of "calculate how many days we have left, hours, minutes, no wait, seconds..."

2. You find yourself saying "This is May, you should know the rules by now" way too many times a day.

1. You start turning the teachers of the next grade level into big scary monsters who "will NOT accept this kind of behavior at all next year!"

29 LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE...

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words,
but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what is going on.

First Celebrity Fatality from Swine Flu

I think we all know how this happened.....

Trouble and Mini-Trouble on Wheels

Last night the two "sisters" felt the need for speed on Xan's four-wheeler. Xan and SK were having way too much fun!!

Happy Birthday Monkey!

Today my daughter turned 5. She is something else altogether and I am blessed to be a part of her life. There are days filled with gripes and whines, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Happy Birthday Alexandra Hunter Hill. I love you.

Masters Widget

Transcending: Words on Women and Strength by Kelly Corrigan

Catholic School Humor....

Little Zachary was doing quite badly in math. His parents had tried everything... tutors, mentors, flash cards, Special Learning Centres. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother Hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise Little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. "Well, then," she replied, "Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms?" Little Zachary looked at her and said, "On the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."

You might be a School Employee if....

A little Jeff Foxworthy humor for the March....

YOU might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

YOU might be a school employee if you want to slap the next person who says, 'Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off.

YOU might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't bring high blood pressure as it is uttered.

YOU might be a school employee if you can tell it's a full moon or if it's going to rain, snow, hail....anything!!! Without ever looking outside.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe, 'shallow gene pool' should have its own box on a report card.

YOU might be a school employee if you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, 'Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.'

YOU might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

YOU might be a school employee if you have no social life between August and June.

YOU might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

YOU might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

YOU might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the U-HAUL boxes should they decided to move out of district.

YOU might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

YOU might be a school employee if you can't imagine how the ACLU could think that covering your students chair with Velcro and then requiring uniforms made out of the corresponding Velcro could ever be misunderstood by the public.

YOU might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers this question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

YOU might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.

YOU might be a school employee if you think someone should invent antibacterial pencils and crayons...and desks and chairs for that matter!

YOU might be a school employee if the words 'I have college debt for this?' has ever come out of your mouth.

YOU might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year!

BANNED FROM WAL-MART

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. After my husband retired, I insisted that he accompany me on trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, I am like most women and love to browse. Yesterday I received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Godfrey-Hill,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Hill are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

June 15: Took 24 boxes of exlax and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals
July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
October 9: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
October 14: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...on October 16: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Yours Truly,
Fort Mill/ Tega Cay Walmart

P.S...this is COMPLETELY FICTICIOUS!!!!

Ryan Bingham - Southside Of Heaven: Video - Closed Captioned

This was the song on ER the other night....amazing what you can google these days, =)

Meet Logan...

NFL Fantasy Files: The Best Players

Too cool not to pass along...I'm impressed!

INCREDIBLE UPDATE ON CONNOR MCKEMEY

Click on the picture to take you to Connor's Caringbridge site for the latest and best news yet!!

Cutie-patootie!

I'd love to find a shirt that actually say this....even more so I wish it'd actually be true before Xan grows into hers.

From George Washington To Barack Obama - A Long Way - Original Video

This would be my luck....

You Might Be a Redneck....

They called off school for this....

Xan and Daddy
"Dad, I don't think these fumes are good for me?"

Xan's look of being up to no good....

Sportin' that Clemson ORANGE!

Calling all Jewelry Lovers!

My friend Jen Wade linked me to another link at Chattahoochie Mama where she is giving away some gorgeous jewelry....click here to see it all!! Look for yourself!

Donation Address

It has been asked of me to directly post to my blog the ways to donate to the McKemey Fund.

Ways to help the Mckemeys:
1. Prayers and words of encouragement

2. Donations to the Trust Fund :
Make donations by check and payable to the "McKemey Medical Fund" and mail to the following address:
Sodoma Law, P.C.
1336 Harding Place
Charlotte, NC 28204
Phone: (704) 442-0000

You can also donate at any Bank of America branch.

One week and counting...

Treasures Found...

Okay, so we've been in the new house since July2, however, with the craziness that ensues our life I am only just now really going through closets and the like over break. You know how you just want to find items a "home" when you move from place to place, just in the ability to get it off the floor. Well, I found "my box" this past weekend. Every woman, young and old has their own "Box"....the one that holds timeless treasures ofpictures better left undeveloped (you know, when you actually developed film!!) Well, it was amazing to think that I had stored all these things for 15 years: pictures, ticket stubs, cookie fortunes, post-it notes, etc.... I just had to share a couple that took me WAY back!! Enjoy!

New Year, New Hopes

It is my sincerest hope that if you by chance have stumbled across my small corner of the internet that you find yourself embracing 2009 with a new outlook on the possibility of change. Change comes when you least expect it and more often in ways that are not of your own opinion. It isn't always the actual change we loathe, it's our inate fear of change and breaking from our square and comfortable routines each day. I have been reminded in the past 2 weeks that we never know what tomorrow holds, the next minute even. What I thought was worth my worries now seems petty and trivial. Reflect on what you left behind in 2008, and raise the bar for your successes and victories this coming year. Positivity radiates from those that see the glass half-full. Are you willing to look at the glass that way this year.? Make that choice.